Synthetic
by vexatively
Summary: Lilly muses on wigs and how thoroughly the deceptive little things fool people... including actors who should have really known better.


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**Synthetic**_  
by **vexatively**_

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_Wigs are amazing_, she thought as her too-thin fingers adjusted the synthetic hair that covered her head. They can hide her flaws… Even transform her into a completely new person; she had seen its magic firsthand and witnessed its effects.

The first time was when her role model, her idol, melted into her best friend. "Surprise?" Hannah Montana asked sheepishly, then Miley's eyes suddenly stared back at her, full of guilt and a little bit of remorse. And Lilly could only stare between the wig and her friend's face and wonder how she could be so clueless.

That was the first time she donned a wig of her own, and donned another identity. In the space of an hour, the whole world had opened up to her and she could go to the hottest parties and flirt with Justin Timberlake himself if he happened to walk by.

And he would, because apparently 'Hannah' and 'Justin' hang out in the same circles sometimes. So she attended every concert, every party that Hannah attended. Lilly pretended not to hear the whispers. _Hannah's shadow. Wannabe. Not even good enough for a concert ticket._

When Miley would smile in that indestructible way of hers, Lilly would fake one of her own. _What's wrong, Lil? _An overly enthusiastic grin. _Nothing, Miley. It's just this new eyeliner— I think I'm allergic. _

And then Jake Ryan came to their school and life suddenly got more complicated.

Despite their miraculous properties, wigs could also be amazingly malicious. The blonde wig she had on, so different from her normal hair, that night when she actually went to the dance with _the_ Jake Ryan… it somehow made her believe that she was special, she was good enough.

She pretended to smile again when Miley showed up and he followed her like a lovesick puppy (which he was, in essence). She pretended not to mind when he kissed her good night in the shadows. She pretended that she didn't mind whenever they'd go out on a date and bring her and Oliver as tag-alongs. She even pretended to herself that she wasn't crying over _him_ late at night in her pillow. _It's just eyeliner_, she whispered over and over again, ignoring the lack of black smears on the pristine white.

The crush didn't last long.

Eventually, she accepted that _maybe _Justin could have been a little too old for her, and Jake was definitely not meant to be. So she had no misgivings when Liam Aiken asked her out. Lilly tried not to think that he was asking Lola-the-friend-of-Hannah out, not Lilly-the-person. _I love your hair, Lola_, he had commented off-handedly once with a smile and she wanted to scream. _It's not real! It's fake, it's plastic._

_It's. Not. Me!_

But she just giggled and thanked him and life went on. Lilly wondered inwardly whether he was asking out Lola LaFonda (or whatever surname she conjured up for the night, though it was usually Luftnagle these days), Hannah's friend, or the-Lilly-inside.

Or maybe he couldn't tell the difference between all three and that's what scared her the most. That she would lose 'Lilly' and never find her again and Lola will have to stay, with her fake eyes and fake smile and fake hair... no. _No!_

"Lilly!" She turned around at the sound of his voice and bit back the '_Eeeep!_' that threatened to tear itself from her throat. Lilly had gotten over Jake Ryan; Lilly was supposed to get over Jake Ryan.

"Jake," she answered, a little breathlessly, hoping he wouldn't notice. The crush had vanished and in its place was full-blown love but _Lilly_ couldn't love _Jake_. It was impossible.

"Where's Miley?" He was oblivious as usual, or maybe she had underestimated her façade and it was better than she could have ever imagined. "I need to tell her something."

Her nails dug into her palm, keeping the tears at bay. "I think she's… around. I'll go tell her she's looking for you."

She came back in half an hour, her hair carefully bundled up under an itchy wig once more, dressed in clothes that she had gotten because they were the same size. Idly, Lilly realized that if they were Sarah's, they would have been donated to charity. Equally idly, she told herself that she didn't care.

"Miley?" She smiled and gave a little wave.

"Hey, Jake," she said in her perfectly mimicked Southern drawl and her perfectly mimicked Miley. "Did you miss me?"

" 'Course," he replied softly, hooking his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulders. Jake mumbled something into her neck.

"Speak up, boy" she said in Miley-language and he looked up, grinning and a little bewildered.

"I saw the strangest thing today. I was asking Lilly where you are and she left... to go look for you."

"Jake," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "Lilly… Lilly died a few months ago. Remember? The car crash? You were at the funeral." Her voice shook a little at the last word.

It hadn't been for Lilly. It had been for Miley's dad and Miley's brother and Miley's bodyguard and Miley. But Jake didn't need to know that. Jake didn't need to remember that. As far as he knew, Miley was alive and Lilly was dead. As far as it mattered to him.

He said nothing and she said nothing for what seemed like an eternity. "I'm glad you're with me, Miley," he whispered, almost dejectedly at the thought of losing her.

"So am I," was the automatic response. But she couldn't help asking, even as her heart broke just a little more. "Don't you… don't you miss Lilly?"

"I miss everyone," Jake said evasively. But then he kissed her and she forgot why exactly her heart throbbed and felt like it was constricted inside her chest.

Wigs are beyond amazing, she thought, a little wistfully now. They were also volatile… almost spitefully unexpected. She never dared to imagine that Jake Ryan would love her. Or the person she becomes.

She had never imagined that she would lose 'Lilly'.

She never imagined that she would become Miley.

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**Disclaimer**: I hereby disclaim the TV show 'Hannah Montana' -- it does not belong to me, people!

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End file.
